We are all just a number.
Everyone is replaceable.
Today I received some unexpected news. Honestly I'm still in shock.. I've had this nagging fear playing at the back of my mind for some time, yet each time I have raised such issue (which has been a lot) I was met with positives and promises that that would not happen.. It has.
After returning to work from maturity leave I requested 'flexible working' patterns, working set shifts only between Nursery hours as I had no other help with child care. This request was granted but on a Six month trial. Almost 9 months later I was asked to have a review meeting. In this meeting I was told that I would now have to work outside of nursery hours to keep my position, due to changes within the business for 'business needs', despite my shifts working and all my piers being happy with my work. Even stating that they could not have coped without me and my knowledge.
I just didn't know what to say to them. I just sat in shock thinking I'm screwed. I'm absolutely screwed. I left the room and hid in the toilets for a while sobbing. I can't work outside nursery hours, I've no one to help look after her. Its just not possible.
It would seem that after 11 years of service, it all equates to nothing. Since we are all at the end of the day just a number. Just a number that can easily be replaced. All those years of putting my job first, making myself ill, being made to feel like they owned me and scared working more. They had such a hold over me for so so long. Only after having my daughter did I start to see my Job in a whole knew light and I came back from maternity thinking things had changed. The company had improved. I finally had a work life balance. I felt valued.
How wrong was I.
I have two weeks to come up with some sort of a plan for the next follow up meeting. I basically have two options. Work outside of nursery hours, which isn't an option for me or demote myself not once, but twice. This is a massive pay drop and I don't know how we will afford nursery on that wage or how we'll pay our bills and mortgage. I know understand why so many mothers become stay at home mums. I want to work, but companies don't seem to want to support you anymore once you have a child.
Not only that but it is extremely embarrassing to drop to such level. Having someone who has been in that role for 9/10 years to drop down twice.. I'm going to be so bored and wasted.
I really don't need this right now. My head is full of worry for my daughter. I just cant think straight. I need this trip to Cornwall so bad...
I just didn't know what to say to them. I just sat in shock thinking I'm screwed. I'm absolutely screwed. I left the room and hid in the toilets for a while sobbing. I can't work outside nursery hours, I've no one to help look after her. Its just not possible.
It would seem that after 11 years of service, it all equates to nothing. Since we are all at the end of the day just a number. Just a number that can easily be replaced. All those years of putting my job first, making myself ill, being made to feel like they owned me and scared working more. They had such a hold over me for so so long. Only after having my daughter did I start to see my Job in a whole knew light and I came back from maternity thinking things had changed. The company had improved. I finally had a work life balance. I felt valued.
How wrong was I.
I have two weeks to come up with some sort of a plan for the next follow up meeting. I basically have two options. Work outside of nursery hours, which isn't an option for me or demote myself not once, but twice. This is a massive pay drop and I don't know how we will afford nursery on that wage or how we'll pay our bills and mortgage. I know understand why so many mothers become stay at home mums. I want to work, but companies don't seem to want to support you anymore once you have a child.
Not only that but it is extremely embarrassing to drop to such level. Having someone who has been in that role for 9/10 years to drop down twice.. I'm going to be so bored and wasted.
I really don't need this right now. My head is full of worry for my daughter. I just cant think straight. I need this trip to Cornwall so bad...
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